How to Date a Sociopath
by Doctor Crow
Summary: Attachments make you human. They make you weak. Vulnerable. Sadly, such an argument will simply not be accepted in this situation. Good Luck, Mr. Holmes. Lady Love is through with knocking -she's nuking the door down.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Sherlock Holmes. Nor the show in general. Not that I would ****_want_**** to. I'm satisfied with fangirling, thanks very much.**

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><p>Rating &amp; Genre: PG-13. HumorRomance

Summary: Attachments make you human. They make you weak. Vulnerable. Sadly, such an argument will simply not be accepted in this situation. Good Luck, Mr. Holmes. Lady Love is through with knocking -she's nuking the door down.

Notes and Warnings: Warnings? Huh. Don't read this story in a room with bad lighting, I suppose. Bad for the eyes. Oh, and there's a slightly naughty innuendo but no follow through. So far.

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><p>It was a beautiful day.<p>

The sun was shining brightly; fluffy but sparse clouds lazily drifting about like fat sheep across the skies. She'd left the window open to allow the light and the breeze in, the sweet scent of the blooming flowers from the expansive gardens of the college near the dorms to drift in. Her room was reasonably sized. Ought to have been for two but her dorm mate, Natasha Black, had gone and decided to share a flat with her boyfriend, Andrew Carrol. Nice chap, really. Very gentlemanly. Treated Nattie well. She'd made sure of that.

Nattie had been nice enough not to withdraw her half of the pay for the room...not that she'd _asked_. She was perfectly capable of paying for the whole thing by herself. Actually, she could buy out the entire dorm. Not that she'd have much use for all of it. She had all her...more sensitive and pricy stuff left back at home, in the clinic.

The silence was nice. And the privacy. She'd often had to hide a lot of her _real _work from Natasha...now she could just leave them at her desk and not worry.

Still, she liked having the nosy, older female around. It was nice having someone to talk to.

_"Ehem_."

Her door swung open, revealing a man holding an umbrella and with a rather cross expression on his face behind it.

"I've been knocking for the better part of half an hour.", the man announced, "Pardon the intrusion."

"Mr. Holmes.", she blinked at him, "To what do I owe this pleasure? Has illness befallen the Family again?"

"No, no. Everything has been going smoothly since your last check-up.", he strode in and closed the door behind him, locking it for good measure. It was a sign of his familiarity that the younger, much smaller, woman didn't even blink at his actions.

"Pleasantries, then?", she got up and poured him a cup of tea. Lucky she'd thought of making some for herself just a few minutes before. She handed it to him with a small smile and added, "Or perhaps, business? Personal."

"Indeed."

"You never were one for social calls."

"I'm a busy man."

"So am I. Well, busy _woman_.", she gestured to the stacks of papers, "College is a horror. You won't believe the amount of homework we're getting!"

"...yes. Well. Why are you in college in the first place?"

"To get credentials, same as everyone."

"You already have the credentials.", he rolled his eyes as he took a seat on the only chair in the room, "Enough to impress even _me_."

"Really? I've impressed you?", she snapped her fingers and frowned, "I should've gotten that on tape."

"I'd have it printed and signed if you agree to work for me.", he took a sip of his tea and decided it was satisfactory. "Wages and rights and everything."

"I already work for you."

"On call."

"Ah, no one's that special, Mr. Holmes.", she smiled, "Well, unless you're dying. Then I'd come."

"No, thank you."

"Thought so.", she took a seat on the floor and began to read the fat book she'd abandoned earlier in favor of, well, musing. "So, what brings you, then?"

"Sherlock Holmes."

"Ah.", her cellphone dinged and she reached for it, "This is new. He is your brother, correct?"

"My baby brother, yes."

"...it's quite odd to hear you refer to him in that manner.", she grinned slyly.

She suddenly stiffened.

"Well, it is true.", he shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"...how long has it been since we graduated from that place?"

"Quite some time. About...ten years, give or take. Why?"

"...it appears I've been away for a long time.", she gripped her phone tightly, her eyes flashing. "A **long **time. Tell you what, I'll take the case. If you find everything and anything there is to find about a certain person."

"Who is this person?"

**"John Hamish Watson."**

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